Criticism Conundrum

Giving someone constructive feedback is possibly the most difficult talent someone can master in a work situation. Constructive feedback can often be delivered in such a way that the recipient will think it is actually a criticism of their personal self. I'm sure that there are a million different hints in the way we can give feedback helpfully and in such a way that the recipient leaves feeling inspired, not insulted. (The most common one I've heard is sandwiching - a compliment, feedback, and another compliment.)

At the end of the day, so many people brush this concern off saying - "well if they are going to be a sore sport every time someone tries to offer an honest bit of advice, then they shouldn't be working here". Now, I understand this philosophy, and I'm trying to take a bit of it to heart. I believe if you have good intentions in giving a piece of feedback and you believe it is phrased well, and it would honestly help the overall work performance and performance of your company, you should not have to hold back in giving your opinion to your coworkers.

Of course, then comes the question of bosses and managers, employees with seniority, those employees who are about to retire, summer students, employees going through major life changes, and any other number of circumstances.  Can you just say what you think? In the real world, I don't think there is any place for "yes people", but at the same time, running your mouth off every time someone does something you disagree with is short-sighted and incredibly frustrating for those around you.

If you chose to "constructively criticize" every time someone makes a suggestion or does something you disagree with, you run the risk of shutting down a good thing because you don't understand all the variables going on. Missing the point and shutting down someone's idea is very problematic, especially because you will need to come up with a solution - and the perfect fit might have been the one you just shut down.

Alternately, if you go with the flow all the time you're not going to help the situation. If something or someone is going way off course, it should be everyone's responsibility to get back on track. And it should be simple as that!

It is clear that it is imperative for every person to give constructive feedback at some point or another. And as someone who has seen constructive criticism given well and poorly, I think the following are extremely important when giving criticism.

1) Consider your Audience. Sure, ideally everyone in business would just act like professionals all the time and they would know that you mean well.  However, office politics and hurt feelings can play a real role in the dynamic of a work group. This means if you've  had unpleasantness with someone in the past, it is probably best to really work on your phrasing before you dive right in. Same goes with bosses and managers, some bosses are very welcoming to receive feedback, and others... are not as welcoming. From what I've seen, being aware of what managers are and which managers aren't and what mood they are in will give you a better idea of how and when to approach them. Sometimes things need to be said, but there are definitely better and worse times to say it.

2) Be Sure it NEEDS to Be Said. Are you 110% sure that this is something that needs to be said? Think about it, think about it again, and then think about it again. If a relationship with someone hasn't been great, it is conceivable that someone might be looking for a way to lash out at their coworker.

3) Be Short and Sweet. For the sake of all that is good in this world, STOP TALKING once your point is made. They get it, you said it, and that's all that needs saying. Stop apologizing, stop discussing, and move on.

4) Should this Come from You? Everyone wants to be helpful, but will your advice be listened to? Is there a better, more official channel to get information to your coworker? Should your manager be talking to this person? Don't jump the gun if you're not sure. Don't be timid when you have something to say at the right time, but don't bolt in blindly if it should be said by someone else.
 
5) Be Well-Intentioned. Sure, the path to hell is paved with good intentions, but at the end of the day, you need to know that what you are going to say is to help the people around you, your customers, your co-workers reputation, and the organization as a whole. This isn't about making your career achievements look better, it's not about elevating your status, it should always be about making things better. If you're not there to do that, keep your mouth closed!

Constructive feedback in the workplace has the potential to be a helpful force for good, or the ultimate example of awkward interactions - unhelpful, lingering, and totally unnecessary to the organization's growth.

When the time comes, it is fair game for someone to give legitimate constructive feedback to you, just as it is fair to give some of your own. Just make sure the time and person is right - you don't want to make an enemy just because you said the wrong thing at the wrong time.